Spectacularly Delicious

Celebrity recipes are always a mixed bag and in my experience that bag usually holds a lot of bland disappointments and ill-advised oddities. Frank DeCaro's The Dead Celebrity Cookbook does much better than most to disprove this opinion.  His clever book is an amusing compendium of fond remembrances and celebrity recipes by A- , B- and C-list stars loved and lost.  Most of the the recipes serve to add flavor (lame pun intended) to their out-sized personalities.  

Sure there's a fair share of limp offerings such as Dinah Shore's Red Snapper (broiled fish with lemon and butter and a wink-wink name) and Ann Miller's even less revealing Fettuccine Alfredo (no surprises there). But those are the minority  – aren't you happy to learn Lucille Ball made a killer persimmon cake and a vaguely un-PC "Chinese-y Thing"? (Chopped mixed vegetables, sliced beef, soy sauce and broth thickened with cornstarch.) How about Don Ho Soup with pig's feet and Asian salted turnips and a conspicuous absence of pineapple? As Frank tells it Bette Davis put beets in her red flannel hash. Madeline Kahn cut her sugar cookies into the shape of a foot. Not having a foot-shape cookie cutter is no excuse as she gives instructions how to create a foot template. Why Madeline feels this away about feet is left unexplained.

But can we ever truly know the innermost thoughts of the celestial beings lighting up movie screens and beamed into the TVs in our homes?  

It was Eva Gabor's celebrity recipe for Hungarian Goulash that sparked my imagination. For younger readers, the Gabors were the ur-Kardashians of their time. Budapest-born Eva, the Kourtney of the family, made her mark in films (Gigi, The Last Time I Saw Paris) and on TV as the glamorous, ditzy socialite Lisa Douglas in Green Acres.  Though no longer with us (Dead Celebrity Cookbook, remember?) her legacy lives on with her perennially popular line of wigs. Eva was married five times. 

Eva's sister Zsa Zsa was the Kim Kardashian of her day and of this writing (1-15-12) is still with us. In true famous-for-being famous fashion slapping a traffic cop is her best remembered performance. But STARS of Gabor caliber don't hide behind half truths and denials as witnessed by her subsequent role in The Naked Gun 2 1/2: the Smell of Fear where she slaps a police car siren shouting "This happens every fucking time I go shopping!!" (Nine marriages.)

Gabor mama Jolie was the original Kris Kardashian and sister Magda (married six times) was the Kloé of the klan.  But enough about them, back to the goulash.  

Eva Gabor's old country celebrity recipe for Hungarian Goulash calls for veal heart browned in lard, pulverized caraway seeds, sweet Hungarian paprika and spaetzlë-like egg dumplings. 

Acquiring the veal heart proved trickier than anticipated. Chef Jon Mailo of the sublime Upper West Side's Picholine kindly procured a couple of fresh beauties from Elysian Fields which provides veal and lamb for some of the city's finest restaurants (e.g. Per Se). Chef Jon threw some lamb's tongues into the bargain as well (and what a bargain — gratis!).  Chef Jon is shown here in his kitchen with sous-chef Brown and they very helpfully gave me a crash course on how to break down the heart which is far easier than one might imagine. There are three seam-like lines defining different bunches of the heart muscle. Use these as guides to cut the heart into steaks. Cut off anything that looks like something you'd prefer not to eat. 

From there on it's pretty much straight forward: meat, onions, peppers, potatoes, caraway seeds and paprika. Eggy dumpling squiggles are a delightful finish. Don't be afraid to add a few dashes of Tabasco to liven things up when you serve this hot Hungarian classic. 

Click her for the celebrity recipe Eva Gabor's Hungarian Goulash

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Written by skfsullivan on January 17, 2012 under Celebrity Recipes, Main Dishes.